


Meet Me Halfway

by LeWriter241, Oedaziel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 11:47:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/597407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeWriter241/pseuds/LeWriter241, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oedaziel/pseuds/Oedaziel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel came out of Purgatory and he is still blaming himself for everything that happened. On the other hand, Dean is trying to forgive him for abandoning him at the last moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet Me Halfway

**Author's Note:**

> /!\ Porny sexual smut.
> 
> Set up after 8x07, might contain spoilers.

Dean gazed out at the blue sky while he leaned against the Impala, looking out at the green fields that stretched endlessly in front of him, with the sun shining so openly and freely above that in the most fortunate days he’d have felt good, happy even, looking at the scenery around him. But now-a-days life just felt like another big clusterfuck he was stuck in. He almost missed Purgatory and its simplicity, its purity. Just run and stay alive, those were the rules. Reason he’d gotten into hunting in the first place. It was better than all of life’s dramas. Everything was all black and white, no doubts. When the hell had all this gotten so hard to handle?

At first Sam’s betrayal irked him so much so that he even considered leaving Sam to his normal life that he wanted. But he was his only brother and he sure as hell wasn’t going to lose his little brother again, no matter what.

And then the thing with Cas. His felt a pang in his chest that mixed with anger and hurt and guilt just thinking about that stupid nerd angel. Stupidly beautiful and nerd angel at that, but he’d rather die than admit it. God he’d tried so damn hard to get Cas out with him, wasn’t even ready to leave there without him. When Cas disappeared on him he had freaked out so bad that he’d almost been too late to run away from those gorilla-wolves or what-the-fuck-ever they were. Being down there without Cas but knowing he was around somewhere had him tearing Purgatory apart like his life depended on it. It did, in a way. Cas had become such an important part of his life it seemed surreal to not have him around. In midst of the tearing apart he realized he’d fallen in love with Cas. He’d fallen in love with his angel and his saviour, the man who would rebel and become hunter just because Dean had said so, the man who probably knew Dean inside out and better than even how Sam knew Dean.

And then one day Cas just pops out of Purgatory and doesn’t remember a damn thing. And he expects him to forget everything and have their normal peachy Team Free Will life again. He couldn’t do that. Not after what they’d been through together. Not after what he felt for Cas, and damn if it didn’t freak him out at first. But then, being with Cas in Purgatory had almost made him accept the fact that he loved Cas and that he’d never have him because, hello? angel of the freaking lord and all that crap. But every time he was with Cas down there, every time they were alone, he fell a little more in love with him and just wanted to kiss him senseless, feel Cas’ lips against his, twist his fingers into that stupid trench coat that he just wouldn’t part with, dirt and blood be damned. 

Castiel flew in next to Dean silently. He looked at his human for a while and said nothing. What could he say anyway? That he was sorry? Dean had heard that song so many times in his life that he could not possibly make him hear it again. He was betrayed by everyone he loved and even his ‘frigging’ guardian angel, as Dean would describe him, wasn’t an exception. It didn’t matter that Castiel’s intentions were good; so were John’s when he made Dean become a hunter and watch out for Sam while he was elsewhere, and so were Sam’s when he drank demon blood to be powerful enough to chase demons away and be able to not damage the human trapped inside. It didn’t matter that Castiel loved Dean so much that he was ready to become a monster for Dean’s happiness and complete his task so he could have his apple pie life like he always wanted to. Dean didn’t have to ask or tell him anything, Cas knew him. He saw his very soul, held it while he raised him from the Pit. He remade his body, yes, but he also remade a part of his soul. Castiel did not need to read Dean’s mind to know what he thought about Cas. He did not need to see the pain in his eyes every time he looked at him because he simply felt how hurt Dean was. How this wound will never heal. Not because Castiel broke Dean in an unexpected way; but because he broke his brother. Dean would have forgiven him if it was just about his feelings, but it was about Sam here. When Castiel broke Sam’s wall and freed Lucifer in Sam’s head, nearly killing him, well...that was just what Dean could not accept. The moment Castiel understood that, he swore he would do anything to redeem himself. But he had no right to be near the Winchesters. Not again. He would not let his feelings for Dean be the source of his grief.

So, when he first walked in Purgatory, he understood that he was there for a reason. There must one be anyway. Because the way his heart was torn apart lately? Well, it couldn’t be a coincidence that he was given a chance to repay his debt to humankind. Though, what did not make sense was that Dean was with him. There, everything was an endless horror movie. There was no rest, no safety, nothing. Castiel had so many enemies there that it would be even more difficult for him to survive. He had to abandon Dean, he had no choice. If he stayed, he would have put the most beautiful creature his Father had ever created, a.k.a Dean, in danger and he would not allow himself to do it again for selfish reasons because, let’s be honest, there was no reason his hunter would want to be with him. Not now anyway. Castiel was useless, insane and so shabby. A poor image of an angel, really. But the second he flew far away from Dean, he understood why he was here. Because being away from Dean, not be able to save him was the most painful punishment ever. When Dean had begun to pray for him, every night, Castiel knew he’d thought right. It was worse than physical injuries, more sorrowful than ever everything he ever felt in his whole, incredibly long, existence. And he only ever felt for Dean.

Patiently, Castiel waited for Dean to see him. He wanted so explain everything to him so badly that it almost hurt, but he had to remind himself that Dean doesn’t like chick flick moments, and seriously, who was Castiel to push him to do it? He didn’t like it either. He didn’t know how to do it. Everything human he ever learnt, it was from Dean and Dean just didn’t do that kind of stuff.

Dean glanced to his right and was slightly startled when he saw Cas. Even after all these years he’d still never get used to Cas popping up near him. He would say that his heart faltered a bit to see Cas so calm and serene next to him but he was no chick. He didn’t get all sappy. God this crap was screwing with his head. 

But he noticed the tense line of Cas’ back and the way he help himself stiffly, not invading his personal space like he usually did. He deserves it, Dean thought, making me go through all this. But instantly he felt guilty for thinking so. Cas was his friend, above all. All of what was happening couldn’t be easy on him either. And most of all, he couldn’t get himself to be pissed at Cas. He loved him too much for care about what it did though it hurt like a son of a bitch. He hated the pained look on his face and could almost count the number of times Cas had smiled and god he loved it. Just seeing one of Cas’ rare smiles made stuff kinda worth it. God he was sounding like a freaking girl again. He sighed, turned to Cas just as Cas turned to him, nodded a greeting his way and asked gruffly, “What are you doing here?”

Of course Dean would not welcome his arrival, Cas thought, who was he trying to fool when he decided that seeing him might be a good idea? Well, to be fair he did not decide it, he was more likely forced by the ache in his chest that exists only when he is not near Dean. It was not like he could be elsewhere anyway. The Host closed the door a long time ago now, since he proclaimed to be the new God actually and he had nowhere to be at the moment. No one needed him and it was a whole new experience for him. That did not explain why he felt like someone was skinning his heart when Dean did not show any sign of happiness when he saw Castiel. 

Castiel quickly turned his head away, staring at something, anything really, because he was merely incapable of standing Dean’s gaze. Not when he knew there would be so much reproach towards him. Not when he knew he deserved Dean’s wrath. But he would never admit it out loud. “I’m sorry. I thought you might enjoy some company since Sam is gone on a hunt. I shall leave you alone.” He turned his back, ready to fly off and let Dean here, but he simply could not. He needed to hear that he was no longer desired to go away, because what happened in Purgatory? Well, that must count for something, right? He draw all his forces to lose himself in Dean’s green eyes. “Dean...” it was all Castiel could manage to whisper. It was more than a word, more than a name. It was like a prayer for absolution. Actually, for anything. 

“What, Cas? What do you want to say? Just spill.” Dean said, sounding tired and a little ticked off, feeling guilty again as he saw Castiel flinch at the tone of his voice.

Really, there shouldn't be any reason for Cas to be this affected by the way the hunter was talking to him, but it was just wrong. Like something was preventing Dean from being Dean. “I have nothing to ‘spill’, Dean. You are obviously the one that needs to say something. Please, don’t restrain yourself, go ahead.” 

Dean snapped at that. Damn Cas and his angel-brain. He hissed and said “Just cut the crap okay, Cas? I already said what I had to. I tried in Purgatory, man. I tried so hard get us both out of there alive. But you? You let go Cas, not me. I fought so hard. I tried so goddamned hard it almost killed me. At the last minute, we were so close, and you let go. And for what? Because you felt you deserved it? Everyone’s done crap in their life Cas, doesn’t mean they throw everything else outta’ the window! They make amends. They face their fears. But you ran away. You ran away and you left me. You left me after everything we’d done together in Purgatory. So you better come up with a better excuse of saying why you decided to be left behind because I’m not buying it!”

Dean took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He wanted to punch something so bad, and keep on doing it till the pain overcame the hurt and guilt he felt. He knew where Cas was coming from, he did, he just didn’t know why he had to do it because in his eyes, Cas was already forgiven and he knew Sam forgave him too. Cas was so complicated sometimes it hurt his head. 

It took all of Castiel’s will to not turn away from Dean. Because this? He was not ready to ‘spill’ his reasons right in front of the hunter. Sure he wanted to amend his sins, but that was not the sole motivation he had to stay in Purgatory. Strangely, it was more because of his cowardice. He knew that Dean would not abandon him and as soon as he went out, but he would try to have a life like a normal human being. He had all the rights, Castiel knew it but he could not accept it. He was not strong enough this time to watch Dean meet the woman that would become his wife. The suddenness of his realisation slapped him straight in his very grace. He had been jealous of Lisa and heartbroken when he understood that Dean did not need him. Not the way Castiel needs Dean. If there was a way that he could dodge these awful feelings, he would at least try. It was not like Dean would not bury him like he buried everyone else in his life. It was not like Castiel was special.

“You don’t understand, Dean... The nature of my reasons are not all pure. I’m not the angel that gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition. Not now. Not anymore. I’m aware that you believe there is a way to be redeemed, and you are not wrong. But...” Castiel took a breathe, trying to calm himself by airing his lungs. So human lately, really, it was a bit frightening. “I do not wish to reduce my burden. All my mistakes almost lead to the end of the world. I do not deserve mercy, Dean. I deserve nothing. I did not deserve to be out of Purgatory at that time, I do not deserve it now. I do not even deserve to be talking to you right now. I wish I could explain myself better, but you can’t comprehend.” You’re too righteous, he thought but didn’t say it because he knew it would irritate him, more than he or his words will. Castiel tried, he sincerely did, but he just could not bring himself to explain all the feelings that flooded him. It was very selfish of him, but he still needed Dean and Dean would run away if he knew who Castiel thought about in his loneliest moments.

Dean snorted, “Cut out the self-pity crap okay Cas? You’re fine. You just can’t stand to up to what you did. You need to face the consequences and deal with it. Not go hiding in Purgatory like a coward.” 

Castiel approached Dean quickly, facing him with his wide blue shocked eyes. He was standing less than two feet away from him when he laughed humorlessly at Dean. “Is this what you really think, Dean? That I am a coward?” And okay, that wasn’t fair because he thought he was a coward too. That was not a sufficient reason to let a human do it though. Even if the human was Dean Hotter-Than-The-Sun Winchester. He flattened his hand against Dean’s chest and push him toward the hood of the Impala. “I dare you to say it twice. You know I am not the coward here, Dean. You know I am not the one that goes hiding.” He moved until he could breathe against Dean’s mouth, nose almost touching and pupils darkening quickly. A long time ago, there was a spark between them. Castiel let it go because it was the end of the world and he did not understand what was happening precisely. Not that he does now, but... If he was going to live without Dean, he would do it because he had been pushed away and not because he was afraid of it. “What were your reasons, Dean? You did not do it because of me, otherwise you would ask me if I wanted to be out. No more games. Don’t try to lie to me, I know you.”

Dean froze at the anger he could feel dripping from Cas’ voice. The only time he’d been this furious was when Dean had tried to say ‘yes’ to Michael and had beaten him black and blue. The way they were standing right now, almost touching everywhere, Dean would just have to move his head an inch and he’d be tasting Cas lips, feeling them, finally knowing how they’d be whether, they’d be the same as he’d dreamt about. He could feel Cas’ heat radiating through his clothes, feel his lean muscles through his shirt. He could barely suppress a groan. As turned on as he was, Dean was furious too. He’d tried to save Cas’ ass and somehow it was all his fault suddenly? It was his fault that he cared for Cas? 

Dean grabbed Cas’ trench coat and pushed him back with as much force as he could but Cas merely budged. “You wanna know why I wanted to save you from there?” Dean spat out, “Because I cared for you Cas, goddamnit! I didn’t want to let you die in a pit full of monsters and I wouldn’t let that happen. EVER! God, Cas you ever think about that? About how it may have affected me when you just freaking gave up?! I even prayed to you when I got out. You ever thought what I would be going through?!” 

Dean was panting after his outburst and he mentally kicked himself for telling all that crap to Cas. He’d tried so hard to keep his affections down, knowing Cas would leave him the second he found out, because who the hell goes around falling in love with an angel of the lord?! 

Castiel’s face got blank when Dean finished his speech. Sure, his ears did not distort Dean’s words but his brain had hard time proceeding it. For a whole minute, sixty seconds, Castiel did not move. He did not even breathe, not that he actually needed to, but somehow he got used to the human mechanism of his chest rising and falling. But he had to take time and analyse the recent events, like a computer needs to buffer before playing a video. Slowly, his face started to let his expressions pierce again. Frowning, he licked his own lips and stared at Dean, searching any clue in his eyes. “What do you mean ‘you care’?” He should not be this stunned, but he was. There were butterflies in his stomach and his heart was beating like he had been running for days. For a moment, Castiel thought he might had some kind of human flu, but he remembered that he was fully angelic now. He tried to turn away, because being this near to Dean was clearly not having a good effect on him. “I did not hear your prayers, Dean... After you got out, I cut off all the ropes linked to Heaven. I was, until I got out, completely mentally deaf.”

Dean snorted. Trust Cas to ruin the moment by bringing up being mentally deaf. He slowly pried Cas’ hands off him and Cas let go, face still showing his shock. They were standing close now, just straighter, and Dean had to slightly look down at Cas to look into his eyes. Dean sighed, closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. God he hated having to spell this out. Sometimes, he wishes Cas would be more perceptive and would understand what Dean was saying. He dropped his hand and said, “Well mentally deaf or not dumbass, I did. And you left me hanging, you son of a bitch. So you wanna know why I wanted to get you out of there Cas? Because I did care. I cared too much to let you rot there by yourself. God you don’t even know...” Dean laughed sarcastically as he shook his head. Cas was still staring at him with that shell-shocked expression. “I love you, you idiot. Can you understand? I am so in love with you that I couldn’t let you fucking die in there. So yeah, I tried to get you out. Forgive me for caring.”

“Yes.” It was all that came out because right now, Castiel’s palms were sweating and his heart was trying to find his way out of his chest. For the first time since he came back, he dared lowering his gaze to Dean’s luscious lips and then drown again in his eyes. He had time, when he remade Dean’s body, to study and memorise every shade of green of his eyes and he was absolutely sure none of forest of his Father’s creation were this bright, loving and so mesmerising, but still amazed him every single time, like he was rediscovering him anytime he laid his eyes on Dean. Without meaning to, he cupped Dean’s face with his hand and and softly caressed his cheek with his thumb. He pressed his forehead against Dean’s and brushed his nose with Dean’s. He hummed silently when he sensed Dean breathing against his lips and closed his eyes because the look the hunter was giving him at this precise moment was too much to take. Castiel withdrew when he heard Dean panting but came back and, like a wave breaks against a rock, he pressed his lips against Dean’s. At first, none of them moved, startled by its intense silence and all those unexpressed feelings. Then, it was Dean, or maybe it was Castiel, none of them can’t tell for sure, begun to move. Not much; just little more pressure until Castiel opened his mouth and Dean slide his bottom lip and suck Cas’. Maybe Cas should be ashamed by the moan that escaped his lips, but at that moment, he could not bring himself to care because his heart already skipped a beat or three. 

Hearing Cas moan was one the sweetest things Dean had ever heard. He tilted his head to gain more access to Cas’ mouth and slide his tongue in, licking and teasing all its curve. His hand went to Cas’ neck and he gripped him tightly and another snaked around Cas’ lower back, holding him flush against Dean. He felt Cas’ hand grip his face closer too and heard him make noises that Cas tried to muffle, which made Dean hot all over. 

“God, Cas...” Dean trailed off as he broke the kiss to see Cas’ face. Cas’ eyes were almost black except for his stupidly blue ring, cheeks flushed under his scruffy two-days-without-shaving beard and his bed hair was standing up where Dean had held his neck. He nearly growled at the sight and he went in again, the kisses this time harsher, more like nips and bites, like they couldn’t get enough of each other, tasting every inch of the other’s palate. Dean felt himself being led backwards until he felts the back of his knees hit the hood of the Impala. He tried to balance himself to keep himself straight, but Cas pushed him down and pinned him there, towering over him. 

Dean licked his lips unconsciously and watched as Cas followed the movement. They were both panting now, sweating under the sun, but Dean didn’t care. He grabbed Cas’ face for another hot open-mouthed kiss that Cas returned enthusiastically, tongues tangling and dancing, lips slick and swollen from kissing and biting. They groaned in unison as Cas settled on top of Dean and straddled him, delving deeper into the kiss.

It was, Castiel tried to convince himself, only for more comfort that he laid Dean’s back against the hood of the Impala and that he spread his legs only to have better access to Dean’s mouth. Except that he did not kiss his mouth. There was so much that he wanted to taste about Dean that he should start right now before Dean pulses with impatience. Cas’ mouth travelled over his jaw, carefully licking every cell of skin. He lowered his head and begun to suck kisses onto Dean’s neck, letting some hickeys while Dean adjusted the angle of his body. It was only when he felt, or more truthfully, was immersed by the heat, that he understood that his crotch was stuck against Dean’s and that he had been trapped against his body when Dean closed his legs around his waist. Castiel stroke his fingers over his lover’s hip, breathing heavily while he sucked at the hollow of his neck, where it meets with his shoulder. “Dean.” Castiel moaned. It was all he could say. This very simple syllable was all his brain could come up with because it was everything he was thinking about. “Dean, don’t bring my Father’s name, please.” he added, because he could hear Dean gasping out Jesus Chirsts and Gods and at that precise moment, Castiel did not want to think about anything else than Dean. Dean gave a breathless laugh that turned into a groan as he pulled Cas close to him and whispered, voice getting rough, “God, shut up and kiss me, you moron.”

Tentatively, Cas’ available hand slid under Dean’s tee. Suddenly, he felt that there were too many clothes between them and Dean was gasping for air. He wanted to be skin to skin, to feel Dean’s heart beating against his chest, to discover Dean’s body all over again and make a cult about it because this high level of perfection deserved his own church and he had prayed, shamelessly, every night to be able to touch Dean like this. He had never been more sure that God truly exists than at the moment he was able to do it. 

His patience turned into hunger so quickly that he was now trying to rip Dean’s clothes apart, not even caring about the afterwards of this meeting. All he wanted was more of Dean and Dean was willing to give it. He craved for more, so much that he bite Dean’s shoulder to mark him and hurried himself to heal it to cover this moment of madness, which, hey, it was a bit kinky and maybe Dean liked more rough than he thought. Then Dean was making these high noises in the back of his throat and was groaning, grabbing at Cas wherever he could. It was driving Cas insane. Because that was what he did to him. He made him mad, a complete loss and he was the only one that could infuriate him that much. Almost as much as Cas loved him.

Castiel grunted, like the animal he had become, against the curve of Dean’s neck and promptly pushed away just enough so he could remove Dean’s tee and took a moment to actually admire the work of his Father. Dean blushed lightly and for a moment, just a few seconds, he felt exposed in front of Cas and wondered when he became such a prude girl. Calmly, which was a big change compared to the way the angel had been acting recently, he pressed his lips against Dean’s chest, the place where his skin is the nearest to his heart. He looked up to meet Dean’s eyes and playfully started to rub his fingers against a nipple. 

Dean gasped out loud, wondering since when Cas had turned this wild. He arched into the touch, gasping and groaning as the pleasant sensations rocked through his body. 

“God, Cas, please. Oh God Cas please dammit,” Dean muttered senselessly, head lolling around uselessly as Cas continued the assault on his nipple, slightly harsher now that Dean decided to disobey and use blaspheme again. What drove Dean completely off the edge was when he felt Cas mouth role the nub in his mouth, playing circling his tit with his tongue.

“Fuck! Cas!” Dean almost yelled, head banging onto the hood. Cas continued laving it and then moved on to work on the other, this time using his teeths. Dean’s throat felt hoarse from groaning and almost whimpered when his nipples were over-sensitized. Cas then came up again to kiss his mouth, panting as hard as Dean was as he ran his hands down Dean’s side, stroking each inch of skin. And suddenly Cas was too over dressed. 

Cas must have sensed this too because he started to shrug off the coat hastily and went to take his shirt off when Dean held his hands. “Let me,” he whispered, lost in Cas’ eyes. Cas dropped his hands and sat still as Dean removed the shirt off Cas’ lean frame slowly, admiring and enjoying the look and feel of Cas without a millions layers on him. The feature of his hipbones, the angle of his collarbones, his muscled tummy, the excited rose nipples, his stunning skin color. Dean knew he should be bothered by the lack of boobs and the extra dick, but this was Cas. Cas was special. What he looked like didn’t matter because he was Cas, his angel, his everything.

Dean put his hands on Cas’ hips, stroked half-consciously the skin there, and went back to kissing him over and over again, never growing tired of feeling his lover close to him, inside his mouth. He did just what Cas had done to him, licked and nipped at his throat, sucked a few hickeys onto his clavicle. Cas was panting hard, all breathy groans and throaty noises that Dean was already getting addicted to. He bent forward slightly so that Cas was almost resting against his arms that were behind his back, making Dean come face to face with his neck. He flicked his tongue over Cas’ nipple and Cas nearly jumped right out of his lap. 

“Oh, Dean, Dean Dean Dean,” Cas babbled on, the feelings all new and alien but oh-so-god coursing through him like a tidal wave. Unconsciously he started moving his hip against Dean’s and this new change in angle brought about such a great sensation he almost screamed out loud. 

Dean felt the press of Cas through his pants and groaned, trying to move his hips too but he was pinned down by Cas again, this time his hands were held over his head by Cas, who was staring down at him with so much lust and love in his eyes Dean had to shut his eyes.

“Open them Dean,” Cas commanded. And Dean couldn’t not obey when Cas was acting masterful like that and later, maybe, he should ask himself some questions, like, when did he started to enjoy to be manhandled like this. Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe it was just the low rough voice of Castiel that should be used only in a sex line that make him act like that. He opened his eyes and at the precise moment Cas started to move against Dean, crotches aligned and Dean nearly creamed his pants like a teenager. His gaze was fixed on Cas, his brilliant blue eyes with pupils blow wide staring down at him in amazement, like Dean was the most fucking interesting thing he had ever seen, and he stared back, not able to rivet his eyes. They were both panting and gasping with each roll of hips. Soon it lost rhythm and Cas just started to senselessly and erratically move against Dean in short, quick thrusts. Dean tilted his head back at the sensation and Cas bent over to bite and lick at the strained tendons in Dean’s throat. 

And that was it for Dean. He blew his load and came in his pants while Cas was still rutting against him. His voice escaped him like a broken moan and he saw white for a few seconds, wondering if Cas let out his true form and that he was blind now which, to be honest, did not bother him as much as it ought. He should be ashamed to come before a million years virgin, but the way he felt so close to Cas was too much for him to stand. Not when he waited for this for so long. Not when all he dreamt about was this precise moment. He was breathless when he looked at Cas whom was still staring at him with a new expression that Dean had never seen before. It was something between despair, desire and fondness that warmed up his whole body, and really, nobody should look this adorable while they’re still thrusting against his pants. 

“Cas” Dean choked out and it was all it was needed for Castiel to crash his lips against Dean’s eagerly. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, pulling him into a hug, that seemed dangerously like a cuddle, and buried his nose in Dean’s neck favourite spot, inhaling the scent that make Dean so Dean. “Cas, mo-- motel. Now.”

Castiel hold Dean tightly, stretched his wings and flew into the room that Dean had payed for the next couple of days. He set Dean in the bed, keeping the same position they have been using until now, with all the gentleness that he could manage, and laid down on the top of him. He could feel how uncomfortable Dean seemed to be and, with questioning brow and a quick glance at his pants, he unzipped it after Dean nodded. Sighing in relief, Dean pull down his own jeans so his crotch would be free from its pressure. Before he could understand, Castiel had taken off the rest of his it within his boxers and his cock was free from covers. Cas looked at his genitals for a moment and kneeled in front of the bed so he could face it. Hesitating, he kissed softly the length of Dean’s dick and licked a part where there was some of Dean’s come, tasting it pleased. Dean’s face reddened and he glanced away. 

“Dean” Castiel prayed but Dean did not look at him this time. “Dean” Castiel insisted but he had almost forgot Dean’s legendary stubbornness. He climbed on the bed, still on top of Dean and licked Dean’s ear meticulously before whispering “There is no part of you that I dislike, Dean.” He posed his hand over the print of his hand on Dean’s shoulder and forced his way to his sight. “None.”

Dean ran his hand over Castiel body until he reached his inseam, unbelted him and pushed his trousers down. “Too much clothes” and it was he needed to say for Castiel to withdraw and strip. Once they were both completely naked, Castiel laid on top of Dean, same position as before, except that this time they both could feel each others cocks, Dean’s hardening again and Castiel’s radiating heat like hell decided to move inside it. Swallowing hard, Dean took Castiel’s length in his hand, thumb teasing the tip of Cas’ cock where pre-come was already abundant and started to stroke slowly. Castiel’s response was immediate; he panted and shuddered as soon as Dean touched it and begun to thrust in the tunnel of his hand, murmuring Dean’s name like a benediction. Dean fondled Castiel’s hair while he was caressing him and kissed his beautiful long eyelashes. Castiel, on the other side of the hand, was sinking his fingers in Dean’s back, letting some more marks on him. By the way his breath had speeden, Dean could tell that Cas was reaching his climax and it felt wrong. If Castiel was about to have his first orgasm, it should be inside Dean. 

And suddenly, Dean didn’t want this to get over so soon. He wanted to see Castiel reach his very edge, see him fall apart and watch his usually neutral face gradually break down. He took his hand off Cas and Cas nearly growled, trying to get Dean’s hand back on him to relieve the intense pressure that was building up in his cock. But Dean just put his hands on Cas’ hips until their cocks were aligned, and kissed him slowly but nonetheless roughly, dragging out moans from Cas and biting his lower lip and then licking the hurt away. For Cas it felt like it was too much but not enough all at once, he wanted to release the pressure that he’d never felt before but wanted to have Dean do it with him too. But then he felt Dean’s hands gripping his ass, pushing Cas up further. Cas went wherever Dean pushed him and gasped out audibly when Dean’s long and elegant fingers started circling his crack. He drew back to breathe, not that he needed to, but it was all so much at once he was feeling dizzy and maddened with lust and love. He stared at Dean while Dean continued his circling, watching as a small smirk played its way onto Dean’s face.

“Dean, what...” Cas purred just as Dean slid the tip of his index finger into his hole. Cas convulsed and gripped onto Dean’s shoulders hard. 

“Like that?” Dean asked tentatively, voice dripping of sex, his sandy hair standing up from where Cas had gripped it, his face flushed, lips parted and redly swollen, the green of his eyes a mere ring around his blown pupils. Cas was being marvelled, trying to memorise every freckle on Dean’s face, everything that made him look so breathtakingly beautiful, divine even, wondering how it was possible that he could be real, when Dean prodded his knuckle in again.

Cas moaned again and tried to push back onto his finger, but Dean kept pulling his finger back, letting only the tips slide in and out. Cas’ breath became ragged and he threw his head back, panting harshly and he started moving against Dean’s barely-there finger. 

“Dean--st--stop teasing,” Cas begged, almost whining. 

“Aw angel-boy’s gettin’ all worked up huh?” Dean smirked, still not providing the friction Cas was claiming. The angel grumbled at that, which turned into a whine as Dean slid his finger up to his knuckle inside him, moving it in and out painfully leisurely.

“Dean, Dean, Dean, more please,” Cas whimpered, trying to get the whole finger into him but Dean pulled away again. Cas was growling now, feeling too tight and too hot within his own skin, needing release. He grabbed onto Dean’s shoulder harder with one of his hand, he took Dean’s from behind him and held it in, lacing their fingers fondly. They stood still like that for a while, panting and trying to catch their breaths, gazing at each other with heat in their eyes until Dean defiantly taunted, “Well what are you waiting for?”

Cas took the hint and settled lower between Dean’s spread legs. Letting his fingers play with Dean’s cock for a while, he made them lightly graze the shaft. Following lightly the vein of Dean’s cock, he gave a few silken strokes, not hard enough so Dean would be too excited, just for to Dean push his head deeper into the bed. Then Cas lowered himself and started circling Dean’s hole, just like Dean had done to him, teasing on purpose. Dean let out a gasp and pushed up on his elbows to see his angel. Cas looked at him serenely, asking silently for permission and Dean nodded once, sharply, breathing heavily in anticipation. Cas put the tip of his finger in, slowly, and felt a shudder run through Dean. Cas continued the motion, moving in and out delicately, driving Dean closer and closer to the edge and making his cock twist several times, interested by the current events and pinning for more. Then Cas drove the finger right on the spot inside of him that make everything go white, making hot pleasure taking control of his body, causing Dean to yelp and move away but try and push forward at the same time. He looked up at Dean, who was biting into his plush bottom lip so hard the skin was about to crumble. Cas leaned up and kissed Dean’s mouth, prying the teeth away. “Sorry,” he muttered. Dean shook his head and hoarsely said, “Nah it’s good, just, go slow.”

Cas nodded, incapable of breaking the eye contact while he went back down, but instead of slither his fingers near Dean’s hole, he mouthed the area and started jabbing inside with small thrusts of tongue. Dean keened, trying to get more of it inside him and Cas let him, holding him still with his hands pressed against the sharp angle of his hips, wetting Dean with his saliva and putting a finger inside Dean, carefully, softly enough so it would not hurt Dean. First, the hunter was surprised, trying to figure out how to name this feeling. It was odd. But then, when Castiel added a second finger and started to scissor him, tongue sliding between the fingers, Dean was so overflowed by the consuming passion and joy that he could not bring himself to think about anything at all except the way the three fingers were hitting the ball of nerves again and how good it would feel if it was Cas’ dick inside him instead. Once Dean decided that the teasing-repay had longed enough, he grabbed Cas’ head, not so gently, and pulled him in for a hungry kiss. It was weird to taste himself like this on Cas but the fact that Cas had actually put his mouth there drove him insane. He kissed him for what felt like forever and then broke apart, heaving. 

“Get in me,” Dean panted huskily. 

“Dean, are you sure? You haven’t done anything like this--” Cas was cut off as Dean kissed him again. “I know,” Dean responded, “But I want to. I want to now. So do it before I go insane, for chrissake.” Cas pulled him in for another kiss and made Dean lie down completely as Cas shifted his hips own hips so that his cock was facing Dean’s hole. Dean folded his legs, resting one of them against Cas’ chest, so that Cas could settle in between them and have the better access he could give. Castiel would never admit that he was absolutely terrified to do what he was about to do. We could think that in the million years he had lived, he had experienced enough so nothing would scare him, but the mere idea of hurting or disappointing Dean petrified him. Castiel took a deep breath to calm down and look at Dean to load his courage. Quietly, he pressed the small tube of lube he managed, somehow, to take from Dean’s wallet while he was stripping him, and poured some of the cold liquid in his fingers. First, he put some inside Dean, then he rubbed his cock with more he could get. Bracing himself on his left hand, next to Dean’s head, he put his right hand on the mark he’d left on Dean’s arm and slowly pushed in, eyes incapable of tearing from Dean’s face. He felt Dean’s breathing hitch and break, and held as still as he could, trying not to thrust into the deliciously hot tightness that was surrounding the head of his cock. Dean inhaled out a few times, sweat pooling at the hollow of his throat, gripped Cas’ shoulder and nodded, giving Cas permission to move further in. The dark haired man pushed in, retaining himself as much as his patience could allow him to, not wanting to hurt Dean at any cost. He kept going till he was almost flush against Dean and heart beating increasingly. He kept kissing and mouthing the crook of Dean’s neck, distracting him from the burn. By the time he was all the way in Dean was breathing hard, shifting restlessly under Cas. 

“Are you okay?” Cas murmured against Dean’s tanned skin. Dean hummed and sighed, “Just move already,” feeling so full and stretched he felt he would burst. 

And so Cas obeyed. Because since when could he refuse Dean anything, really? It felt like coming home - better than coming home actually, it was doubtlessly more welcoming. Cas started rolling his hips slowly at first, pulling out a few inches and then pushing back in. Dean was so tight that the pleasure almost hurt and it was hard to not come already. It ran all over his body, waking up every single cell. His brain was screaming inside, and soon Cas would too. Dean fell into rhythm as did Cas, pushing up when Cas pulled out, matching perfectly as if they were born to fit, fulfil each other. Their gazes never unlocked, so lost in the moment, in hearing each others moans and hold back whines, that they felt the world would break if one didn’t see the other for a sole second. Dean started moving again, “Faster, Cas. Dammit, please,” he begged in a low grumble, voice too hoarse and desperate to rise to its normal pitch. Cas speed up, pistoning his hips hard, giving into the need to just bury himself deep inside Dean and surround himself with that hot flesh, let a mark inside of Dean that proved that he Castiel’s and tight pressure that was making him lose his mind. It felt so good it was simply insane, surreal. How have they survived without this for so long? They should have done this like yesterday. 

They both started moaning louder, screams piercing their voices now and toes twisting as the pleasure grew stronger, gasping for breath as the assault of sensations took toll on each of them. Cas started moving even faster, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck when Dean threw his head back, mouth parted with no noise coming out, completely lost in this madness, literally made silent with the pure white pleasure coursing through him, gaining every part of his body and Castiel was absolutely lulled by his whimpers. At every thrust, Cas hit that spot inside Dean, making him shout and grip Cas even tightly, feeling he would implode from all the pressure. Dean’s name fell from Cas’ lips like a sob, saying it every single time he sank inside Dean. He snaked a hand down and gripped Dean’s cock, stroke it a couple of times and that was enough to send Dean on the other side. 

Dean cried out, throwing his head back in a silent shout, and he came all over Cas’ stomach and his own, the pulsing pleasure flowing everywhere through his body. Watching Dean come apart like that under him, head thrown back and back arching sinfully, Cas felt himself swell up, with an urgence he did not know until that moment, and he came inside him, fulfilling Dean’s insides, the sensation making him scream out loud. After the pressure subsided, Cas fell bonelessly on Dean, stated. They just lay like that, trying to catch their breath, caressing each others sides tenderly. Cas carefully pulled out of Dean and Dean whimpered at the loss as the angel, his angel, crashed next to him, still overwhelmed and trying to regain his senses from this trance. He pulled Cas close and kissed him softly, with silent I love yous, heartbeat leisurely coming down to normal. Cas put his hand around Dean’s waist and put his head under Dean’s chin, burying himself into his favourite spot. 

“Wow,” Dean murmured, hand coming behind Cas’ back and rubbing circles onto it absent-mindedly. “Yeah,” Cas agreed, voice muffled. 

They lay down in this silence for a while, listening to each other heartbeat. “Dean... I’m truly sorry for doing what I did,” Cas whispered, looking up at Dean, hopelessness with a touch of pain written all over his face.

“It’s okay,” Dean said, sighing, “I mean, I get it man, I do. You do something bad you feel you deserve to be punished. But you already did redeem yourself, y’know? At least I think so. And so does Sam. So don’t... don’t keep thinking about it. Don’t... don’t ever leave me alone like that again okay?” Never leave me again at all, Dean added for himself, pulling Cas tightly next to him, a sudden possessiveness towards his former best friend eating him up alive. Cas tightened his grip on Dean too, and said, “I promise,” as he kissed Dean under his chin.


End file.
